This morning I woke up in a thoughtful mood. That can only mean one thing to you, my awesome readers: things are about to get heavy. I have been a good girl for the past few weeks and we’ve even shared a laugh or two so, it was bound to happen.
This was not my usual once a month panic that wakes me up at dawn with a to do list that covers a six month span and a sense of urgency to jump out of bed and contemplate how I will manage to get it all done in a day. Which goes something like this: “What am I going to give my mom for Christmas? Did I really schedule that bill or did I just tell myself to remember to schedule that bill? Should I be cooking more? Maybe I should run to the grocery store and stock up on a bunch of healthy foods so we aren’t eating out so often. The dog is getting fat. I don’t think that diet food is working. She needs to go for more walks. But who the heck wants to carry her back home when she decides she’s had enough and plants herself in the grass like a yard ornament. I’d do it, but my knee would be aching for days if I carried a 17 pound miniature dachshund up the hill. That reminds me, I need to make a dentist appointment.”
No, I had an epiphany! To be honest, I think it was the jolt of caffeine rushing to my sleeping brain cells, but I like that word, epiphany, so I’m going to use it. Now, I can’t explain the thought process that brought me to my epiphany—it would just confuse you, as the above example shows. Let me just say, it started with a feeling, ended with a question, and the epiphany was the answer.
Epiphany: Sudden realization a sudden intuitive leap of understanding, especially through an ordinary but striking occurrence.
I didn’t find the solution to world hunger or uncover the mystery of those little white spots that magically appear on the bathroom mirror, but I did have a moment of clarity. And in this moment of clarity, I found myself. I wasn’t looking to the past but rather to the days that lie ahead. With my son leaving for Japan, and my daughter in her last few years of high school, I am about to set sail on unchartered waters. Through all of life’s triumphs and tragedies, I am confident that I have built a strong and sea-worthy vessel to carry me through to that final sunset.
I’m not going to tell you my epiphany, I think you should get your own, but I will tell you the question: Where do I go from here?